An Average Movie-Goer’s Review
No spoilers! If you would like spoilers – check out the Spoiler post
I love horror movies and if I’m going to watch them anyway, why not write an entertaining/funny review from the POV of an average movie-goer and not a professional critic.
Today we’re looking at 2021’s Lantern’s Lane
After Layla (Brooke Butler) visits a group of her friends in a small town they end up on a supposedly haunted road and are stalked by a killer.
Is it Scary?
Nope and Lantern’s Lane makes sure that you’re not scared by playing carnival music at random times that throws off the scenes. In the end you won’t be scared unless… actually nah you won’t be scare no matter what.
Review:
Lantern’s Lane is bad but it’s weirdly almost good in a ‘so bad it’s kind of good’ way. It’s also a perfect example of how you can correctly write a movie but have horrible execution. Just want to point out, correct doesn’t mean good.
By the end of the movie you know who every character is, you know their motivations, you know how the killer’s plan worked, you have no questions but it’s all so poorly done it’s disappointing.
First some positives. Sydney Carvill (as Shana) does a great job throughout the entire movie. She has some good subtle moments sprinkled throughout and has a few standout scenes that make the movie a bit better.
Ashley Doris (as Missy) also does a pretty good job in a few scenes despite the dialogue written for her. The rest of the cast are okay but everyone has some poorly acted scenes or feel wooden at some points when delivering lines.
Now a few negatives; the dialogue. There’s lots of extra dialogue that doesn’t help the story in anyway or just reiterates what another character just said. A lot of the dialogue feels very unnatural and kills the pacing because it stands out so much. One specific scene has so much plot details delivered by one character it feels like the movie is trying to catch you up in 90 seconds.
Lantern’s Lane is also supposed to be a horror-comedy but it has really bad ‘jokes’. They might make a child laugh but this movie is for some reason Rated R. The horror carnival instrumental music playing in the background of scenes ruins them, it doesn’t add terror or even comedy. It feels so out of place.
All of this made Lantern’s Lane feel like a really bad episode of Goosebumps from the 1990’s. At least Goosebumps had an excuse; small budget and being forced to be 22 minutes long. But, I loved Goosebumps so going into this movie with the mindset that it’s a longer, sometimes worse version of that, actually makes it better.
Overall I don’t recommend Lantern’s Lane but if you like Goosebumps (the show) and are hoping to see something you can make fun of then I guess you should give Lantern’s Lane a chance.
Cast IMDB