An Average Movie-Goer’s Review
Spoilers! If you don’t want spoilers – check out the Spoiler-Free post
I love horror movies and if I’m going to watch them anyway, why not write an entertaining review from the POV of an average movie-goer and not a professional critic.
Today we’re looking at 2013’s The Conjuring, the movie that started an entire movie universe of demons and monsters based on the Warrens.
After the Perron family move into a new home they start to experience terrifying hauntings and reach out to famed paranormal investigators, Ed and Lorraine Warren.
Detailed Plot:
The movie opens with the same scene that later opens 2014’s Annabelle but this one is the original and a longer version. Three people, two nurses and a guy, tell Ed and Lorraine Warren (played by Patrick Wilson and Vera Farmiga) about the supernatural events surrounding the Annabelle doll in their possession.
After receiving Annabelle as a gift, they noticed that the doll would appear in different places from where it was left. This led them to get a medium who informed them the doll was possessed by a lonely girl named Annabelle Higgins. At first they thought they could help the spirit but soon the hauntings became violent.
One night when arriving at home, they found a note at the foot of the front door written in red crayon that read, “Miss me?” They then saw the Annabelle doll sitting at the end of the hall with a red crayon in her hand. In one of the rooms everything had been smashed and red crayon markings lined the wall with another “miss me?” written on the ceiling.
After that incident, Debbie tossed Annabelle in the trash behind the building. That night they were woken up by loud banging on their front door finding a “miss me?” note on the ground in the hallway. The banging then started coming from their closet and when they opened the door, they found Annabelle just chillin’.
Ed and Lorraine tell the three that Annabelle isn’t a spirit or ghost, it’s a demon who was simply using the doll as a conduit. It’s then revealed what we were seeing was a projector film being shown to a lecture hall during a presentation by the Warrens.
We get some text trying to convince us the story we’re about to watch is true and the title card.
We open on the Perron family led by Roger and Carolyn (played by Ron Livingston and Lili Taylor) moving into a new home out in the country. Their five kids, all girls, run into the home but their dog Sadie starts whimpering not wanting to go inside. Dogs always know.
While everyone is packing, one of the daughters, Cindy, goes outside to get her sister April who has found a musical toy box near a tree and brings it into the home. Later the girls are playing a hide and seek style game called “Hide and Clap” where the seeker is blindfolded and the hiders have to clap to get her to find them. Marco polo without the water!
During a round of hide and clap they accidentally break some boards under the staircase that reveals a hidden basement. Using matches for light, Roger goes down to investigate finding a piano and some other old furniture before wondering for a moment why it was boarded up. I’m wondering how they bought a house without knowing there was a basement.
The next morning Carolyn spots an unexplained bruise on her leg and notices the clocks all stopped at 3:07am. The family then finds Sadie dead in the backyard.
On that depressing note we cut to the Warren’s home where Ed is giving a reporter a tour of their museum located in their home, he tells him everything in that room is cursed or evil. We learn something happened to Lorraine during an exorcism in a previous case but before Ed can elaborate, he spots Judith, his daughter, hiding in the room trying to get a look at Annabelle.
That night, back at the Perron home, the clocks have stopped at 3:07am again and Roger is awoken by unexplained thumping after having fallen asleep at his desk. After investigating, he spots one of his daughters, Andrea, at the stairs who tells him Cindy is in her room sleepwalking.
We then see Cindy bumping her head continuously on an armoire in Andrea’s room while sleepwalking. Roger, taking this to be the explanation to the sounds, takes her back to her bed and puts her back to sleep.
The next morning after Roger heads out to work and the rest of the girls head to school, Carolyn finds April, the youngest, in her room talking to someone. April tells her she’s talking to her imaginary friend, Rory, who is her new friend since Sadie is now gone.
Carolyn plays hide and clap with April and follows the claps to Andrea’s room where the armoire opens on its own. The creaking leads Carolyn to believe that is where April is hiding and asks for another clap. We then see two hands, that are clearly not April’s, emerge from the armoire and clap.
Carolyn, still blindfolded, searches the armoire but is shocked when she hears April’s footsteps running in the hall. She takes off the blindfold just as April runs in, tells her she lost for taking off the blindfold, and then reveals she was in a completely different room the whole time.
Later that night while Nancy and Christine are sleeping in their room, something grabs Christine’s foot but she incorrectly assumes it’s Nancy. A few moments later, the force grabs her foot again and almost pulls her off the bed waking her up. Christine realizes Nancy is in a deep sleep and something else is in the room.
She looks under her bed not seeing anything but spots the door creaking, moving on it’s own. A look of terror overtakes her as she whispers out to Nancy, waking her up. Confused, Nancy asks what is going on and Christine reveals there’s someone behind the door although Nancy, nor the audience, can see what she is talking about.
Despite Christine’s pleas not to, Nancy goes to check but doesn’t see anyone behind the door. The door then slams (jump scare) causing Roger and Carolyn to wake up and run in but they also don’t see anything. Christine tries to tell them what she saw but they think it was a bad dream. She then reveals the thing spoke to her telling her it wants the family dead. DUN DUN DUNNNN
We cut to the Warren’s getting called to a haunting but quickly debunking it stating there’s usually a rational explanation.
Back with the Perrons, while Roger is on a week long work trip, we see Carolyn now has multiple bruises all over her body and has been prescribed iron supplements to help but they don’t appear to be doing much. While folding clothes she hears a child giggling and clapping and thinks the girls are playing hide and clap. She checks on all of them, finding them asleep and jumps (so did I) when all the picture frames along the staircase fall and shatter.
She hears another clap coming from the downstairs hall and goes to investigate. The door to the hidden basement opens on it’s own and, for some reason, she decides to go look inside instead of barricading the door with everything in the home.
Before she can leave, the door slams in her face and she painfully falls down the stairs. She’s able to sit up and, after scanning the empty basement, a ball falls on it’s own causing her to rush up the steps as the lightbulb blows out. She grabs the matches Roger left and hears a voice ask her if she wants to play hide and clap. FUCK THAT
A pair of disembodied hands then appear beside her face and clap.
Carolyn screams and attempts to open the door but it refuses to budge. We cut to upstairs where Andrea is woken by thumping that, importantly, isn’t her mother banging on the basement door. She looks over, finding Cindy once again sleepwalking and bumping her head on the armoire. Why doesn’t her door have a lock? I don’t know but it should be the first thing anyone does to prevent creepy shit.
Andrea puts Cindy in her bed to sleep for the night but as she is tucking her in, the door on the armoire starts to open and close on it’s own. Andrea opens the armoire just as Cindy wakes up, gasping and grabbing Andrea’s attention. Andrea turns around to see her staring horrified at something above the armoire. Andrea then turns around to see this demonic son of a bitch.
The thing yells and jumps down attacking the girls just as Roger arrives at the house. He runs in and frees Carolyn who was still banging and screaming. The two rush upstairs to Andrea’s room and find her rolling around the floor screaming while Cindy screams and cries. Good thing they don’t have neighbors.
We cut to the Warrens at Massachusetts Western University in Wakefield giving a lecture on one of their cases. We learn Ed is not authorized to perform exorcisms as they are dangerous to everyone in the room and we also learn about the 3 stages of demonic activity, Infestation, Oppression, and Possession because it’s gotta be catchy.
As he explains the stages we see Carolyn in the audience watching. After the lecture she approaches the Warrens asking them to investigate her home. Although Ed is reluctant, they agree to meet the family and Lorraine immediately agrees to help.
So let’s officially meet the children in order from from left to right, Nancy, April, Andrea, Cindy, and Christine.
The Warrens confirm there is a demonic presence in the house, specifically tied to the basement where Lorraine states something horrible happened. Later Ed records an interview with the Perrons while Lorraine interviews the girls separately. April tells her about Rory and gives her the music box so she can see him since he likes to pop up in the mirror in it when the music plays.
As the music plays Lorraine spots a boy in period clothing standing behind a glass door but he doesn’t appear to be malevolent. She then follows a feeling of a presence outside and spots a woman hanging from a tree.
The Warrens recommend the Perrons conduct an exorcism in their home. When the Perrons ask if moving will help Lorraine says the demonic entity is latched onto them and will follow them wherever they go. While the house has many spirits, one, whose feet we saw, is a hateful one and causing chaos in the home.
Ed explains getting an exorcism approved will also be hard work as they will need to get proof first before it can be authorized by the church. They also warn them that the entity may become violent now that they’ve entered the home as it will see them as a threat.
Later at the Warren’s home, Judith gives Lorraine a pendant with her picture inside and tells her she misses her. This scene feels a bit random but it will be important later.
At the table, Ed plays the tapes of the interviews and they discover that Carolyn’s voice didn’t record but everyone else’s did. Meanwhile Lorraine is able to find information on the house, learning a woman named Bathsheba lived in the home and was related to Mary Towne Estye, a woman who was accused of witchcraft during the Salem Witch Trials.
Bathsheba gave birth to a baby and, after seven days, her husband caught her sacrificing the baby at the fireplace to Satan. Bathsheba then went to the tree, climbed up, and hung herself with a time of death at 3:07am.
The following day the Warrens return to the Perron home along with assistant Drew (played by Shannon Kook) and police officer Brad (played by John Brotherton) in order to capture evidence. They set up video recorders, trip wires that will trigger a camera, thermostats that trigger cameras when the temperature drops below a certain point, place bells on doorknobs, and set up audio recorders. Basically the whole nine yards and then some.
That night Ed places crosses all around the house in order to piss off the spirit and it immediately works as the basement door opens on it’s own. Ed, Lorraine, and Brad all head downstairs with audio recorders but aren’t able to get any evidence except for the thumping and the door slamming.
The next morning Roger takes the girls out for ice cream, Carolyn gets some rest as she is feeling weak, and the Warrens help around the home. While Lorraine is folding laundry outside, a strong wind and dark clouds appear out of nowhere pulling a blanket off and hitting Carolyn’s bedroom window. As the blanket falls, Lorraine sees Bathsheba standing at the window and she runs inside.
We then see a handprint appear on Carolyn’s arm while she sleeps and suddenly she wakes up screaming. Bathsheba appears and throws up in her mouth, leading to the worst screenshot I’ve ever taken.
Lorraine gets to Carolyn’s room but she says she’s fine and was just a bit nauseous. This ploy is a little something known as the “clearly possessed but still a secret” strategy. Roger returns with the girls and with Ed and we find out a few months prior to meeting the Perrons, during an exorcism, Lorraine received a vision of something that affected her to a point that she didn’t talk or eat for 8 days.
Ed has never asked what she saw as to not bring up the memories and now is afraid of putting her in danger.
That night during another attempt of gathering evidence, Brad hears whispers coming from outside but doesn’t see anyone out there. He then sees the ghost of a woman in a maid’s dress show him her bleeding wrists and walk away. He chases after but she has vanished only to appear in front of him and attack him.
He calls out to Ed but the ghost disappears as Ed and others arrive. The cameras start taking pictures and we see Cindy sleepwalking. At first the group think Cindy is triggering the cameras but Ed says it’s not her, it’s a spirit that is guiding her.
Entering Andrea’s room, the door slams behind her and the group run up as Drew, using recording equipment, is able to picks up Rory’s voice guiding Cindy somewhere in the room. Roger and Ed are able to break in but find the room empty. Using an UV light, Ed tracks her to a secret room in the armoire and finds her sleeping inside. April says that is where Rory likes to hide when he’s scared which I feel was important information to tell people earlier.
After pulling out Cindy, Lorraine enters the opening and finds a rope leading to another opening. Pulling on it, something breaks off and it’s revealed the rope was a noose with a body attached. She gets up causing the wood below her to break, sending her falling down to the basement.
Using the mirror in Rory’s music box, she looks for spirits and spots one woman crying holding a knife hovering over a bloody crib continuously repeating, “she made me do it.” Another spirit appears in front of Lorraine and says the same, and points to the far corner of the basement.
The body of the hanged woman appears and chases after Lorraine. Lorraine is able to get to the stairs before she’s grabbed by a force that rips off her pendant. Ed opens the door as Lorraine reaches the top and she tells him and the others that the demonic entity possesses the mother first. After a successful possession it forces the mother to kill their child and this is now happening to Carolyn.
After she says this, the crosses around the home fall. And, in case the group didn’t get the message, we see Nancy’s hair rise as she’s lifted in the air and thrown across the room.
She’s dragged across the floor by her hair with enough force that Brad, Roger, and Ed are unable to grab her. Lorraine grabs scissors and cuts Nancy’s hair freeing her. Ed turns to Drew and we see he has recorded the entire thing.
The following morning the Ghost Hunting Crew pack up and Ed tells Roger he’ll send the footage to the church. After they review it, he and Lorraine will return once the church sends the Exorcist.
Before they can leave, Lorraine hears Judith calling to her and follows it to the lake where she sees a vision of her in the water. Taking it as a warning, she runs back to the house and calls her mom, who is watching Judith, but she tells her she’s okay.
Later we see Ed and Lorraine with a priest, reviewing the footage. He tells them it’s going to be difficult getting approval for an exorcism since the children aren’t baptized and the family doesn’t belong to the church. Apparently the church strictly follows the “can’t get club benefits if you don’t belong to the club” mandate. The Warrens push back and the priest relents, telling them he’ll try his best, which always means no.
Back at the Warren’s home Judith is woken up by a presence and searches the home for her parents, noticing Annabelle is no longer in her case. The lights start turning off around her and she runs into Lorraine’s office where she sees a woman combing Annabelle’s hair.
Annabelle turns towards her and that’s pretty fucking impressive for a doll. Judith doesn’t appreciate this and runs to the now stuck door, banging on it waking up her grandmother. Outside the Warrens arrive in time to hear her screaming and run into the home. Ed breaks open the door just in time to move Judith out of the way of a thrown chair.
Judith tells them it was Annabelle and Ed goes to her case in the museum making sure she’s still there.
We cut to the Perrons who are now staying at a motel. Roger arrives and Andrea tells him Carolyn left with Christine and April while smelling like rotten meat. He calls the Warrens who realize Carolyn is possessed and going to try to kill the girls. Ed tells him to get back to the house as that is where she’ll take them to do it.
Ed, Lorraine, and Brad arrive at the house and break in hearing Carolyn and Roger screaming from the basement. Running down, they see Roger and Drew holding Carolyn back who is trying to stab Christine while April looks on in fear.
They’re able to restrain her but April goes missing. The group attempts to take Carolyn to the car to bring her to the Exorcist but her skin starts to burn at the doorway. Lorraine realizes the entity won’t let her leave and will kill her if she steps outside. The entity then pulls Carolyn back down to the basement.
Ed, Lorraine, Brad, and Roger give chase as Drew goes looking for April.
The group attempt to restrain Carolyn who is doing a pretty good fighting off the four. She gets the upper hand tackling Ed to the ground and tries to strangle him. Brad pulls her off but she bites a piece of his freaking cheek off!
Lorraine and Roger are able to restrain her by placing a blanket over her and tying her with rope. Brad then handcuffs her to a chair. They realize Carolyn won’t make it in the time it will take for a priest or Exorcist to arrive and, with no other choice, Ed volunteers to do the exorcism but tells Lorraine she has to leave.
Lorraine refuses and the two argue.
She convinces Ed and they prepare to do an unauthorized exorcism. Meanwhile upstairs, Drew is still looking for April when the house is bombarded with birds flying directly into it because birds work for the devil? Drew runs to the kitchen and hears a child crying under the floorboards. Getting a fire poker, he starts to break the boards.
Back in the basement the exorcism is going swell. Everything in the room starts to shake as the lights flicker but Ed keeps going with the Latin, causing Carolyn to spit up blood. Roger tells Ed to stop but Lorraine tells Roger that he can’t, it’s a battle for her soul.
Cue the rock music!
Unfortunately there is no music and Ed continues the exorcism. The demon stops yelling out and the shaking ceases but the chair then lifts in the air. The chair flips upside down and bangs on the ceiling. Ed demands the demon “put her down”. So the demon complies and the chair falls several feet to the ground, breaking into pieces.
Roger and Brad rush over to restrain her now that she’s not tied or handcuff to a chair. Roger tells the demon to leave his wife alone but it responds that she’s already gone and now they’re all going to die. Brad’s shotgun then cocks itself and shoots at Ed but Brad is able to dive and save him.
Upstairs, Drew finally breaks through the boards and sees April. In a stupid decision, he shouts that he’s found her, giving her exact location to group including the damn demon trying to kill her. Naturally the demon’s eyes open wide, picks up the scissors, and runs up through an opening in the basement.
Possessed Carolyn reaches April, grabbing her and is about to stab her but Ed calls out her name, “Bathsheba” which causes her to cry out in pain. Why didn’t he do this sooner? Dramatic effect.
On the other side of the wall Roger, and Lorraine beg Carolyn to fight from the inside. Lorraine reminds Carolyn of a memory she told her about earlier in the movie when the family was all at the beach, happy and laughing. This is enough to get Carolyn to expel the demon although I guess the exorcism helped too.
The next morning everyone exits the house and Carolyn’s bruises disappear. The film ends with everyone celebrating, Ed putting Rory’s music box in his museum, and Lorraine telling Ed the priest wants to discuss a case in Long Island. (hint: The Amityville House so Sequel Baiting!)
Review:
The Conjuring is probably one of the best Halloween movies you can watch, the characters are great, the acting is great, the story is great, it’s all around a good spooky movie.
What The Conjuring excels at is creating effective tension and paying it off with actually good jump scares. Not only that, it knows how to subvert your expectation on what jump scare is coming. You expect something to pop out of the closet but then a creepy ass witch appears above the armoire.
The only downside to this movie are the scenes with Judith, only because they don’t seem necessary. Cut them out and it doesn’t change the movie at all. Having them in actually creates more questions like how was Bathsheba able to use Annabelle? Judith saw Annabelle wasn’t in the case so was that a hallucination? If so, why doesn’t Bathsheba use that power in other parts of the movie?
Of course after The Conjuring created a whole universe of movies it makes more sense retroactively because you care more about the Judith character but at the time it just feels like a way to shoehorn Annabelle in the movie.
There’s not much to say except make sure The Conjuring is part of your spooky time movie list.
Cast IMBD