House of Darkness (2022) No Spoiler Review

An Average Movie-Goer’s Review

No spoilers! If you would like spoilers – check out the Spoiler post

I love horror movies and if I’m going to watch them anyway, why not write an entertaining/funny review from the POV of an average movie-goer and not a professional critic.

Today we’re looking at a modern reimagining of Dracula, 2022’s House of Darkness

After driving a stranger (Kate Bosworth) home from the bar, Hap (Justin Long) discovers she lives in a large isolated castle that may be more dangerous than it seems

Is House of Darkness (2022) Scary?

Nah, House of Darkness is a definite slow burn and there are almost no scary scenes or anything that will frighten anyone. The ending does get a bit gory but you’ll see it coming a mile away.


House of Darkness is okay. The acting is pretty good but I had a slight problem with almost everything else. The biggest problem House of Darkness has is that it doesn’t need to be 90 minutes long especially since you figure out what’s going on almost immediately so you’re just waiting for the big “reveal”.

The dialogue, although it’s written very well, just feels mostly unnecessary. The overall story has no character you want to root for. You end up not caring who wins and you just want to get it over with to find out if there’s some kind of twist at the end.

I think had the 90-minute movie been condensed to a 30-minute episode of something like the Twilight Zone it would have been so much better. It would have come across as a better commentary on dating and society.

Overall I’m only willing to recommend House of Darkness if you’re watching it with someone else, preferably with a significant other, or on a date as it does make for some good conversation on the dynamics of dating and about how dumb Hap is.


Stuff to Ignore

Rotten Tomatoes – 59%

Metacritic – 54

Comments are closed.

Up ↑

%d bloggers like this: