An Average Movie-Goer’s Review
Spoilers! If you don’t want spoilers – check out the Spoiler-Free post
I love horror movies and if I’m going to watch them anyway, why not write an entertaining/funny review from the POV of an average movie-goer and not a professional critic.
Today we’re looking at 2007’s Paranormal Activity
After a couple start experiencing paranormal activity in their home they discover the thing inhabiting their home may have ties to one of them and targeting the other.
Is it Scary?
Paranormal Activity has a couple of pretty suspense-filled scenes but they don’t happen very often and unfortunately they suffer from three big problems.
One, is the suspense building lasts way too long to the point where you become bored waiting for the jump scare to happen and you just want the scene to end. The second is, you know exactly when the scares are about to happen since they mostly happen when the couple go to sleep. And the third is most of the time the jump scares at then end of the suspense aren’t scary.
Detailed Plot:
The film opens with a short paragraph from Paramount Pictures thanking the families of Micah Sloat and Katie Featherson in an attempt to make you think the movie is based on real events. In case you’re not aware, the movie is not based on real events but, a lot of the marketing tried to pass it off as real.
We cut to reveal this is another found-fucking-footage movie (I irrationally hate them) taking place on September 18th 2006. We find out there is some kind of haunting going on in Micah and Katie’s home and Micah has purchased a camera to get proof of it.
Later they hear some knocking and investigate, finding out it came from the fridge. They set up the camera to watch the bed and head to sleep with Katie having some reservations about it. That night the camera captures some thumping and sounds of keys dropping on the ground.
The following morning they find keys on the floor. Fascinating.
Later in the day the couple welcomes a psychic into their home, it’s clear Micah is a skeptic despite believing in ghosts. We find out Katie has been seeing shadowy figures and experiencing paranormal activity periodically since she was 8 with her sister witnessing it. In the last few weeks it has started up again.
After an unexplained fire when she was 8 caused the family to move, the activity stopped temporarily. Going around the house Katie tells and shows the psychic about the phenomena they’ve been experiencing such as flickering lights, sounds of scratching, faucets turning on and off, and something saying her name at night, you know, the usual stuff.
The psychic tells them he feels like the presence following Katie is demonic and he’s not about that demon life as he only deals with ghosts. He also tells them he’s not comfortable with being in the house and peaces out after giving them a name to a demonologist.
Micah tells Katie not to call the demonologist because it’s “crazy” but she says if the haunting gets worse she’s going to call them.
On the night of September 20th, the floor creaks and the door moves… frightening stuff. We then get a pointless scene of Micah getting rid of a spider. On night 5 Katie wakes up from a nightmare and the two hear a thumping coming from downstairs. When they investigate and find nothing, Micah decides to antagonize the spirit.
The next day Micah finds some kind of voice in the audio but can’t tell what it is and thinks they should get an Ouija board to communicate with whatever it is. Katie makes him promise not to get an Ouija board.
On the 13th night Katie wakes up because of scraping and scratching sounds. Micah then wakes up as they hear a shrieking and a loud crash. After investigating, they hear more thumping for another 5 minutes but nothing else happens.
On the 15th night Katie wakes up at around 1:30am and watches Micah sleep for 2 hours appearing to be sleep walking without the walking part. At 3:30am she leaves the room. A little while later Micah wakes up and finds her outside in the cold but she tells him she’s fine and to leave her alone.
Micah goes in to get her some blankets but hears a loud bang from the room and sees the tv now on. He then turns around and Katie pops up in a jump scare. She’s now awake and wondering why Micah woke her up. They then go back to bed like it’s no big deal.
The next morning Micah shows her the tape and she says she doesn’t remember any of it, not the being outside, not the talking, and definitely not the watching him sleep like a stalker part.
The next day dumbass Micah has borrowed an Ouija board and intends to talk to the demon before he and Katie go out for dinner. Katie sees the Ouija board and flips out storming out of the house with Micah following behind. The plants around the living move around a bit before the planchette moves and the board ignites on fire.
They return around 11pm with Katie now PISSED OFF ignoring Micah when he tells her there is a message on the Ouija board. After a little while Katie refuses to talk to Micah and he turns the camera off. It turns back on several hours later and he promises to listen to Katie and not betray her trust.
Micah tries to figure out what the Ouija board spelled out but has no luck. His next plan involves putting baby powder on the floor to catch anything walking at night. Katie agrees to it but says if nothing happens she’s calling the demonologist the following day.
At around 3:15am they’re woken up by the sounds of growling and footsteps (this is also the first time there has been the sounds of footsteps in the movie). They then see a set of footprints going into the room but not out.
The footprints lead to the attic where Micah spots something in the insulation revealing it to be an old half burnt picture of Katie as a child. The next day Katie calls the demonologist but he doesn’t pick up so she calls the psychic and he agrees to return the next day.
That night at around 4am, a light turns on in the hallway and loud footsteps are heard going up the stairs waking up Micah. The door suddenly slams and Katie wakes up right before loud pounding starts at the door. They open the door and check but find nothing, Katie now refuses to go back into the room but Micah eventually convinces her.
The next day while they’re eating, they hear a bang coming from upstairs, they rush up to find a picture of them is broken with scratches over only Micah’s face.
Katie says she feels something near her, breathing on her and her hair moves as if someone was blowing on it causing her to run. A little while later the psychic returns but immediately tries to leave upon feeling the energy in the house.
That night Katie cries herself to sleep feeling helpless.
The next day Katie starts freaking out feeling like something is watching her. Later Micah finds a website about a women named Diane who had the same events happen to her, including having been in a fire when she was 8 and experiencing periodical hauntings. Unfortunately, according to the website, calling an exorcist caused the demon to kill her.
Katie and Micah decide to not call the demonologist in order to not anger the demon. Later, the two have an argument when Micah tries to tell Katie his idea but she shoots him down, completely ignoring when the psychic told them the demon feeds on anger and hate.
That night the demon pulls Katie out of bed and pulls her into another room.
Micah wakes up and chases after them, finally able to open the door and free Katie. The next day they check Katie’s injury and see a bite mark on her back. The two then decide to leave for a hotel. Micah goes to pack and when he checks in on Katie, he sees her sitting on the floor clutching a crucifix hard enough to cause her hand to bleed.
He gets her to let go and brings her to the bed while he finishes packing. Once he’s done he asks if she’s ready but Katie no longer wants to leave and, surprisingly, seems more chipper. It becomes clear to everyone but Micah that Katie is now possessed. Micah thinks she’s being crazy but agrees to stay and leaves the room, Katie then gives an evil smile.
That night Katie wakes up at around 1:30 am and watches Micah sleep for almost two hours before she heads downstairs. She then screams Micah’s name causing him to wake up and run downstairs without the camera. Off screen we hear him yelling and the sounds of fighting before everything goes silent.
Micah’s lifeless body is thrown at the camera and a bloody Katie enters the room.
Katie crawls on the floor, her face warps to a demonic face, and she lunges at the camera. The movie cuts to black ending with some text saying Micah’s body was discovered afterwards with Katie missing.
Review:
Unfortunately, like many found footage movies I’ve reviewed, nothing really happens and you have to sit through boring scenes of nothing in order to get a jump scare. Fortunately this one does it better than others I’ve seen this month since they actually trickle in some good story details during those boring scenes.
The story itself drags because of those boring scenes, the little bit that does happen is interesting but could’ve fit into a 30 minute show. The characters are also pretty unlikable especially Micah. Katie is a passive protagonist, not really doing anything and letting things just happen.
I wouldn’t say skip this movie but I would say leave it as a last resort unless you like found footage films but even then, this shouldn’t be your first pick.
Cast IMBD