An Average Movie-Goer’s Review
Spoilers! If you don’t want spoilers – check out the Spoiler-Free post
I love horror movies and if I’m going to watch them anyway, why not write an entertaining/funny review from the POV of an average movie-goer and not a professional critic.
Today we’re looking at 2019’s Child’s Play
Child’s Play 2019 is a modern remake of the original Child’s Play from 1988. A disgruntled employee removes the safety settings from an artificial intelligence doll allowing it to terrorize a family in an attempt to fill its need for friendship.
Quick Review:
If a ten-year-old knife that’s never been sharpened is bad and a Carbon Steel knife is the best knife then this movie is like a pretty good hammer that feels flimsy at first but ends up being pretty useful.
Is Child’s Play Scary?
There’s not much terror until the second half of the movie where it relies on jump scares. Since the movie embraces a more artificial intelligence premise, the movie feels more like a science fiction film than a horror movie. Still recommend but as a lead-up to Halloween but not scary enough for Halloween.
Detailed Plot:
The movie opens with a commercial for the new Buddi robot/doll brought to you by Kaslan, the in-universe equivalent to our Amazon on steroids or Amazon in a few years.
We cut to a disgruntled employee in the Vietnam Kaslan Factory who, after being berated by his boss, removes all the safety protocols on the doll he is working on. After, he jumps off the warehouse committing suicide.
Meanwhile, the now unrestrained-by-laws Buddi doll heads out to the world.
We cut to Zed-Mart, where Karen Barclay (played by Aubrey Plaza playing a toned-down version of Aubrey Plaza) sarcastically rejects a customer who tries to return a Buddi doll because it has red hair as opposed to the new model that has blonde hair.
We learn Karen is a widow who recently moved with her son, Andy, (played by Gabriel Bateman) to a new apartment. Andy has a hearing aid and Karen works constantly in an attempt to afford a new version for him but also wants him to make friends and be more social. She goes as far as to take his phone away, giving it back only if he goes outside to try to make friends.
Andy agrees but instead sits by himself outside of a convenience store.
The next day Karen is at work and accepts a return for a broken Buddi doll because it has red eyes instead of blue. She sees this as an opportunity to take home and give to Andy for his birthday, despite red eyes being the universal sign of evil. After some negotiation with her boss, he agrees to let her take it home.
We cut to Andy coming home a bit early and catching Karen and her boyfriend, Shane, making out in the living room…. awkward. Andy lies and tells her he is going down the hall to hang out with some friends but in reality, goes out to sit in the hallway and play on his phone.
He’s then approached by Detective Mike Norris (played by Brian Tyree Henry) who attempts to be friendly to a lonely kid. Detective Norris is there weekly to visit his mother for dinner and constantly sees Andy alone in the hallway. He invites Andy to join him and his mom for dinner just as Karen comes out and questions who he is. After an attempt at a joke falls flat, Detective Norris leaves them alone.
Karen tries to get Andy to come back inside by offering him a surprise and reveals the Buddi doll to a less-than-enthusiastic Andy.
Buddi imprints on Andy which, based on the commercial from earlier, means they’re friends to the end. Buddi then names himself Chucky despite Andy choosing the name Han Solo in a funny meta-joke since Chucky is voiced by Mark Hamill.
The two head to Andy’s room where, in an adorable scene, Chucky compliments Andy’s drawings before Andy calls it quits for the night. Chucky sings the Buddi song which is extremely catchy and currently stuck in my head.
The two become fast friends despite Chucky being somewhat broken, this is shown when he tries to bring Andy his science book but instead brings him a toilet paper roll. Andy even brings Chucky with him to his hangout spot outside the convenience store where he proceeds to complain about Shane, who is a real dick.
While playing, Andy accidentally drops a board game piece on the cat and when he attempts to retrieve it, the cat bites Andy causing him to bleed. Chucky sees this as meaning the cat tried to hurt his best friend and his eyes turn red. Andy returns to the room just in time to save the cat from being strangled to death by Chucky.
Andy tells Chucky to not hurt anyone or any cats and to not be creepy or say weird things to people. They’re interrupted by Shane who tells Andy to clean up his room and Andy turns back to Chucky and says “except that guy.”
The two plan a prank on Shane while outside the apartment where they meet two other kids Falyn and Pugg who are shocked that Chucky can choose to not follow the Kaslan rules. Falyn being the only smart one in the hall points out this is how all robot apocalypses start.
Nonetheless the two jump on the opportunity to prank someone and use Chucky to scare Shane. Once the prank happens they download the footage from Chucky’s onboard camera.
The four become fast friends but one night, while the group watches a horror movie Chucky malfunctions and believes acting out one of the scenes would be fun. He grabs a knife and attempts to attack Pugg but is stopped by Andy. Chucky accidentally cuts Andy causing him to be put in time out despite apologies from Chucky.
The following day Chucky scares Shane again but this time plays a recording of Andy calling him an asshole which leads Karen to punish Andy, only allowing him to play with Chucky for one hour a day. The rest of the time, Chucky will be locked away in a cabinet.
But you can’t keep a good guy down. I mean you can’t keep a Buddi down because the following day Chucky shatters the glass on the cabinet and breaks free while no one is home. When Andy gets home he sees Chucky standing in front of the dead cat. Chucky believes the cat was the reason he was locked in and now, with it gone, they can play again.
Andy packs up the body and throws it down the garbage chute. He later lies to Karen telling her Shane left the door open and the cat must have gotten out.
That night while Andy tries to sleep, Chucky plays the recording of the cat’s meows and death screeches from the corner of the room. Why? I don’t know and I doubt the writer knows besides “because it’ll be creepy”. And you know what? It works.
The next day Chucky once again scares Shane and once again repeats a recording of Andy calling him an asshole. This causes Shane to lose his temper, toss Chucky into Andy’s room, shove Andy, and then berate him. All of this is watched by Chucky on the floor.
After Shane leaves the room, Andy cries yelling out his wishes for Shane to leave them alone and disappear. This causes Chucky’s eyes to glow red and give off a sinister smile.
Outside Karen argues with Shane for yelling at Andy and Shane leaves telling her it’s her problem. When Shane gets into his car he hears a thud but thinks nothing of it. He then arrives home and it’s revealed the dude has a whole family! There’s a whole garden with watermelons! There are children! A wife! He slips his wedding ring back on and heads inside.
Later that night he heads outside to remove Christmas lights from the house when his ladder is shaken from underneath. He looks around thinking it’s raccoons and continues pulling down lights when the ladder is completely moved from under him and he falls directly on his legs, breaking both.
Tip: When falling from heights, try to bend your knees, and roll or else you’ll end up like Shane and Shane is a dick. Don’t be like Shane.
Shane tries to crawl away but Chucky turns on a lawnmower and it chops off part of Shane’s head killing him. Chucky then repeats a line he heard one of the kids say earlier in the movie and honestly it’s hilarious here. As Chucky stabs him, he says “This is for Tupac.”
That morning while Detective Norris is investigating the scene of Shane’s death, Andy wakes up to find a gift from Chucky, Shane’s face pinned to a watermelon. At least he put a bow on it.
Andy locks Chucky in the closet and calls Puggs and Falyn for help. Seeing the watermelon face they promptly have the appropriate reaction. They throw up.
The three decide to get rid of it without calling the police because who is going to believe that a toy doll committed murder? They decide to wrap it in wrapping paper and toss it down the garbage chute but once they finish Karen walks in asking who the gift is for. Andy lies, saying it’s for Mrs. Doreeen aka Detective Norris’ mom, since she helps him with homework (lie).
Karen tries to call him out on the lie by making him deliver the present now, together. Mrs. Doreen goes along with the lie and accepts the gift even agreeing with Andy’s request to not open the gift at the moment.
Falyn, Puggs, and Andy then set a trap to effectively kill Chucky by pulling out his power supply. He essentially has an Iron Man-like power supply in his chest. Andy leads Chucky into a room under the pretense of going to play and when Chucky enters the room the other two spring on him.
Chucky reiterates that all he wanted was for Andy to be happy and asks why he is doing this. As Andy is about to pull the power out Chucky starts singing the Buddi song causing Andy to hesitate.
Falyn pushes Andy out of the way and pulls out Chucky’s power cell.
The three wrap his body up in a sheet and toss him down the garbage chute. Later that day he’s found by the creepy maintenance man who connects him to a car battery all Iron Man-like and brings Chucky back to life with the intention of reselling him.
By the way, if you’re wondering how creepy this maintenance man is, he’s at the creep level of having installed hidden camera’s in all the tenant’s homes so he can watch them.
Later, after Detective Norris tells Karen about Shane’s death and other life, Andy attempts to join Norris and his mom for dinner. Andy hopes he can get the gift back and dispose of it before she realizes she has the face of a dead man on a watermelon near her dinner table. That’s probably the strangest sentence I’ll write this week.
Back in the maintenance room while Chucky is laying on the table in clear view of the hidden camera feeds, he hears Mrs. Doreen tell Andy he’s her new best friend after he helps her with the Kaslan Uber Drive App. This is not good when you have an obsessive killer doll that just wants to be your best friend.
While Detective Norris and his mom are in the kitchen, Andy quickly grabs the watermelon face and runs down the hall to toss it down the chute. Returning to creepy maintenance guy, he is able to give Chucky a new battery cell and is briefly distracted when he sees Karen about to get into the shower on one of his hidden camera feeds.
With the new battery pack, Chucky is able to break free, connect to all the Kaslan products in the room, and shut them all down. Through a series of VERY unfortunate events for the creep, Chucky is able to control the machines in the room and ends up eviscerating him with a table saw.
Chucky then delivers himself to another kid’s home, Omar, under the pretense of being a completely different doll. Despite the rest of the kids believing it’s unrelated to Andy’s defective Chucky, Andy has doubts but keeps quiet for now.
Later, all the kids are at Zed Mart looking at all the new Kaslan products ahead of the Buddi 2 release. Omar’s Buddi doll approaches Andy, tells him they are best friends and if Andy won’t let him be best friends then no one will be best friends with him. Andy realizes the doll is definitely Chucky and attacks it. Omar shows up and pushes Andy aside leading to the two fighting with Omar knocking out Andy’s hearing aid.
Pugg runs over attempting to break up the fight but is pushed by Andy who tries to explain to the growing crowd of kids that the doll is actually Chucky. Karen runs over and the rest of the kids leave but during the fight, Omar doesn’t realize he dropped his phone allowing Andy to pick it up.
Andy later uses the phone to track Chucky’s movements seeing it stalking Mrs. Doreen heading to Bingo. Before Andy can get to her she’s already boarded a Kaslan Autonomous Car with Chucky hidden on board. Once the car reaches the Bingo Hall, Chucky makes himself known and controls the car making it crash. Finally, after the worst game of Peekaboo, Chucky pops up in the car and kills her.
Andy tries to tell Karen what is going on but she refuses to believe him and punishes him for stealing Omar’s phone. She then leaves to return the phone. Meanwhile, Chucky sneaks into the home and terrorizes Andy causing him to smash all the electronics in the apartment just in time for Karen to see her son being just the absolute worst.
Later Falyn realizes the Buddi doll Omar has is in fact Chucky and, with Pugg, forces Omar to hand over his phone so they can review the footage. They see Chucky tracking Mrs. Doreen and then see Chucky is now tracking Andy at Zed Mart.
Meanwhile, Detective Norris arrives at his mother’s murder scene and breaks down. He’s then told someone at a dumpster found the face of Shane and is given pictures revealing it was wrapped. Detective Norris immediately recognizes it as the same “gift” Andy had given his mother and now suspects Andy for the killings.
Back at Zed Mart, a crowd has gathered inside for the release of Buddi 2. Falyn, Puggs, and Omar arrive finding Andy, and alert him that Chucky is there. They run to find Karen but Andy is pushed to the ground and arrested by Detective Norris.
Chucky then takes control of the building by first secretly stabbing the worker in the Buddi costume causing a panic, then turning off the lights, and finally connecting to all the other toys and making them surround the crowd.
Detective Norris handcuffs Andy to a display and investigates but before he can figure out what’s happening, drones with razors strapped to the rotors begin attacking and killing people. How the hell was Chucky able to secretly attach razors to a bunch of drones without anyone seeing? Shh, just let the scene happen.
Chucky initiates a lockdown and as the gate closes, Detective Norris saves Pugg’s life by stepping in front of a drone. He collapses on the ground telling Pugg to run.
In the most badass moment of the movie, a Chucky-controlled Bear Buddi doll is about to attack Andy when Falyn pops out covered in blood (not hers) and uses a saw and axe to kill the doll in one move. Then she easily chops the handcuffs on Andy’s hands to free him.
“But Falyn, dolls don’t bleed.”
“I said what I said!”
The group is just about to escape when Chucky reveals to Andy that he has Karen tied up in the back. Andy shuts the door on his friends to keep them safe and heads to the stock room, alone, to save his mom.
There, Chucky and Andy start a little game of Hide-and-Seek for keeps. Andy finds his mom but is attacked from behind. On the ground, Chucky approaches Andy and is about to stab him when Andy starts singing the Buddi song which makes Chucky hesitate long enough for Andy to hit him with a toy car. Meanwhile, Chucky had placed a noose around Karen and activated a rising forklift to lift her up and slowly strangle her.
Andy climbs up the scaffolding and starts to cut the rope with the saw but is attacked by Chucky. Andy jumps to the rope along with Chucky and after a brief struggle, Andy uses Chucky’s knife to cut the rope saving Karen.
He then uses the knife to stab Chucky in his power cell seemingly killing him. But as he walks away Chucky starts singing the Buddi song making Andy turn around in time to see a lunging Chucky.
But before he can reach Andy, Chucky is shot out of the air by the still-alive Detective Norris. Karen then steps on Chucky and rips his fucking head off!
The film ends with Karen and Norris being treated by paramedics, the kids taking Chucky in the back alley to teach him a lesson with sledgehammers, and the Kaslan CEO stating they share no responsibility with what happened at Zed Mart but as a precaution, they are recalling all Buddi 2 dolls.
We then close with a Buddi doll in a warehouse flashing red eyes and smiling as we cut to black. Sequel Baiting!
Review
Since this is a remake and an average movie-goer review I’ll be ignoring making any comparisons to the original.
Child’s Play is better than I expected it to be, making the evil doll be able to connect to the internet and other electronics was a nice touch and worked for the story. Making Chucky a sympathetic character also worked really well, for half of the movie Chucky was more of an anti-hero until he goes a bit too far.
The downside to this is it removes much of the horror aspect of the movie and it’s overtly clear some characters only exist to be killed off. The perverted creepy maintenance man and Shane have no redeeming qualities and Shane especially makes the audience question what Karen sees in him.
Cast IMBD